about their peers they never knew while creating a framework for them to do the same. Here are the questions we ask (and we encourage team members to jump in and ask additional questions as each one shares): 1. Where are you from, and where did you grow up? 2. Where are you in your family’s birth order? 3. What were you good at, or what did you like doing while growing up? 4. What is the most challenging thing you experienced growing up that creates how you show up at work? It is truly amazing how these simple four questions get leaders to open up, revealing who they really are under their professional exterior. On one leadership team, we found instances in which 60% of the leaders were from four-sibling families, and all held the same place in the birth order. Two of them never felt like they were accepted for who they were; they put on a “work persona,” choosing not to let team members see their true selves. Despite the obvious upsides of professional intimacy, certain precautions must be observed. The most obvious is, can professional intimacy go too far? Does it mean knowing the business and career aspirations of your team members, or can it venture into the personal (for example, knowing their kids' names, their favorite sports team, etc.)? Ultimately, it can be both, as it’s important to know the entire person. Can a line be crossed when trying to establish this intimacy? Are there any “guard rails” that leaders should observe? A good rule is to stick to using the doorway of how these leaders show up at and through their work. Along the path of sharing, invite them to reveal familial facts, aspirations, dreams, hopes, fears and beliefs; but don’t feel slighted or discouraged if it appears that the person’s comfort level begins to decrease due to this unfamiliar sharing process. They will continue to open up over time as their subconscious confirms it’s safe to do so. R U Proficient at RQ? The “4 questions, 4 minutes” exercise, while instrumental in nurturing professional intimacy, is one element in a larger concept known as Relationship Intelligence Quotient, or RQ. Quite often, the quality of our relationships at work determines the quality of our work and, ultimately, our success. Stronger work relationships give birth to more meaningful discussions, more innovative solutions and better business outcomes. If you’d like to engage in a FREE inventory of your own Relationship Intelligence Quotient, contact Exponential Results or visit their website at yourexponentialresults.com. This is a proven, cutting-edge system used globally by companies of all sizes. The inventory takes approximately 30 minutes to complete, and you will have immediate access to your results. Karen Brown is the CEO of Exponential Results, a full-service leadership development firm that elevates leadership skill and performance of Director through C-suite. Get in touch with her at karen.brown@yourexponentialresults.com. Resources 1https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/authenticleadership 2https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/careerdevelopment/authentic-leadership 3https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ irrelationship/201510/5-benefits-of-corporateintimacy WE MAKE IT EASY LET OUR TEAM HELP YOU SECURE THE DEAL AND LOWER YOUR RISK • UP TO 90% OVERALL FINANCING • UP TO 25 YEAR TERM • FIXED-RATE PREFERREDLENDINGPARTNERS.COM | 303.861.4100 Leveraged financing and refinancing of owner occupied real estate and long-term equipment. Most for-profit small businesses eligible. SBA defines businesses with net profit after tax <$5.0 Million and tangible net worth <$15.0 Million as small. Colorado Banker 12
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