cremation rates today, Earth burials seem to be more of an exception rather than the norm. What is your greatest career accomplishment? One of my mentors told me that, in addition to being a really great funeral director, it was also my job to replace myself and carefully bring on others so that the profession continues to keep the high standards and dignity that it’s known for. I’ve been absolutely honored to mentor some incredible young men and women in this profession. That is the most gratifying and most rewarding thing. It has been an honor to pass on the wisdom and instruction from my mentors. How has MFDA helped you throughout your career? Being surrounded by peers in my profession has paid me rewards that are innumerable. When I’ve been in a situation that I’ve not faced before or some problem that needs another set of eyes, being able to call another MFDA member has definitely made me a better funeral director. Without those men and women that I’ve relied on heavily through the years, I think I really would have been lost in the profession on a lot of different occasions. I was so thrilled that Terri was the one who was named our executive director after Jim Brown’s retirement. Jim did an incredible job, and when he came on board, the association was floundering a little bit. Jim was able to right that ship and start to get us going on a completely different trajectory that has been wonderful for the association. I’m sure Terri will continue that because she brings an exuberance and a fire that I know the association is truly going to enjoy. What is the best advice you have received? The best advice I ever received was to always remember the incredible trust that has been placed in me by families. They were trusting me with the most important thing in their life, and there was nothing more important to them than the person being taken care of. My mom told me that you are going to suffer the emotions and cry those tears, but to cry them in private. The family does not need you to hold their hand and cry with them. The families are looking for the one person who can bring some semblance of rationality to the irrational situation. Don’t allow your emotions to overwhelm you to the point that you can’t serve that family. My mentors once told me that it’s OK to not have all the answers and not to say anything. People, especially during visitations, will say, “God only takes the best” or “Your little girl is now in God’s garden.” Those things may sound lofty and poetic, but they do nothing to serve the family. I tell families just to be patient with people when they say those kinds of things. It’s the best they can do. But sometimes, there are no words. Any last thoughts? When they told me that I was getting an award for 50 years in funeral service, I thought, “Wow, that went by fast,” because I truly went from getting out of mortuary college, blinking, and suddenly it’s 50 years later. The award is quite an honor, and it’s very nice of them to remember me this way. FRED NELSON Fred Nelson has dedicated over 50 years to the funeral service industry, and MFDA is proud to recognize such professional excellence. Currently, he is a funeral director at The Lake Funeral Home & Crematory in Polson, Montana. We had the chance to sit down with Fred to learn more about how he got started in the industry and what he has learned over the course of his career. The following are excerpts from our conversation. Tell us about yourself. I was born and raised in a small town in southern Idaho. There, I got to know a funeral director who became a family friend and got me interested in the general industry. But when I was in high school, there was a tragedy involving three of my friends. We were all supposed to go to a movie one night, but my folks said, “No, you’re not going.” In the moment, I was not happy about that. Tragically, my other three friends lost their lives in a car accident that night, and I was devastated. From then on, I decided to go into the funeral service industry. I started my apprenticeship in Boise, Idaho, the day after I graduated from high school. That was in 1962. I got my license in Idaho in 1966 and moved to Montana in 1975, and I’ve been serving the people of Montana for 50 years. Directors Digest | 9
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